GEM Community Considerations to Find Meaningful Deeper Connection with Others

Some guidelines to follow:

1. Avoid over generalizing things and try to speak from your own experiences and emotions.

2. No blaming, shaming, attacking people

3. Listen and don’t try to solve everyones problems unless they ask for support in that way.

4. Find space for messy learning and supporting each other instead of trying to be perfect and saying the perfect thing- this can lead to beautiful connection. No one is perfect and it’s ok to mess up in “what” we are saying. 

5. Move forward with curiosity when responding to people and share your truth too, this fosters real connection.

6. If you are triggered, stop and take some time or breaths before responding or maybe don’t respond. We want to contribute to the conversations and not solely respond to criticize. 

 Tips for Meaningful Conversations:

1. Pay attention to what kind of conversation is occuring - match the vibe and pause when nessesary. Ask why am I am responding. Ask yourself, what kind of conversation are we having (listen, help, emotional, rational, solutions or vent) 

2. Share goals and ask what others are seeking... Questions that draw out how people think and go a little deeper. (example- instead of “where did you grow up”,” what was the best thing about the town you grew up in.”) 

3. Ask about others feelings and how they experience things.

4. Listen. Take yourself and the meaning you are trying to place on the conversion out of the equation and listen to what others are saying. ( we are typically listening through a filter of survival. How is what they saying benefiting me or what potential threat is there. We can shift our listening to understand them and take ourselves out of it. We don’t need to be right, or figure out how to respond or defend ourselves or try and change their mind, etc)

If you feel defensive, triggered, or want to lash out please take a minute to step back and breath before reentering the conversation. 

Everyone's story is welcome. And even if we disagree, we can try to understand it from their point of view. We can practice listening and removing ourselves and the meaning we are trying to place on them. We can then see into their world and what is happening for them- taking ourselves out of it.

Think about the environment we create via the words we use. If you can approach it with Love and less polarizing language it could be helpful. However, do not feel like you must change your language if you want to vent and speak your truth. We can all speak our truth without worrying if it will trigger someone. It is our responsibility how we choose to respond. And we can show up with compassion and learn from others to become more empathetic and find deeper connection.

This is a Safe Space even to disagree. Everyone can speak their truth and this space is an area to be heard and connect with others and/or to seek guidance and we can try to understand thing from their expereince. 

Let’s try to understand whoever is sharing with us. Listen to people and keep the environment safe to speak their truth. Let’s move through with curiosity about what others are experiencing and curiosity about what we are experiencing.

It’s beautiful to be able to connect and form friendships with people who have different views than you. Especially when we approach our conversations from a place of trying to understand them and their experiences. 

The goal in this container is to understand each other, not to win or prove that our belief is the only truth. There can and are many perspectives and ways to mother. Maybe find common ground if you are wanting to participate in a topic that you don’t agree with. Finding common ground and something that we all agree on is a great way to remind us that there is a mother on the other end of the computer. :)

Reminder we area all doing the best we can with our current situation and knowledge. :)